it is cold out. i felt it yesterday morning as i rode my bike to diamond's. my biking days are numbered (i am not a crazy, committed winter biker like some in our fair city). i am starting to wonder why i live in minnesota. the wind chill blew all memories of hot, humid summer right out of my mind today.
it was especially difficult to get out of bed this morning, with the dark sky and the cold air that awaited me when i finally left for the studio. i was feeling panicky, uncertain of the wisdom in quitting half of my job in the midst of bank failures and government take-overs. i was overwhelmed with my limitations--of time, resources, money--and all the things i hope to do, the life i hope to create for myself over the course of the next few years. i was intimidated by the internet, overdosed on pictures of happy, slender women in wedding dresses or showing off their tiny pregnant bellies. we present what we want the world to see on facebook, or if you are like me and you never log in, you are at the mercy of your friends to present the world with your life in pictures.
which is fine, but sometimes i get confused about what is meaningful about life, and what the truth is about myself. i am especially aware of that as i embark on the journey of starting an internet-based business. oy, the thought! one day at a time.
i feel more energized and calm tonight. it helps to go the the gym and be reminded that i am not alone and that i need time and space to adjust to a new life.
i am ready to hibernate, to hole up in our little tiny apartment for the next several months and set to work with all the creative tasks i have on my plate. and read. and watch movies.

to do this week/end:
finish carving blocks for christmas cards, start printing.
organize home office (euphamism for the corner of my bedroom containing a desk and file cabinet).
buy a chair for home office.
move a/c to basement.
go to crafty planet for living room curtain fabric, bobbins.
based on card printing experiment, go to home depot and automotive store for press-building supplies.
order herbs.
start sewing sachets and dream pillows.
organize photos in a meaningful way, upload to new flickr account.
go to the y.
get together with the schmidts.
organize hall closet?

i feel better now.